Home Caregiving


Grace + Frank are trying to do things differently as they consider being stay-at-home children to their aging parents

 From the cradle to the grave is a term that we understand to mean: throughout our lives; from beginning to end.  We all have dreams and ideas of how life will unfold and what the typical life journey should look like.  Unfortunately, the road is not clearly marked and is rarely even paved!

We start school at the ripe-old age of 5 and set our sights on getting through school so we can be “free” from the school routines, homework and exams that get in the way of our living.  Then we are abruptly cast into the work force to find our wings.  We navigate our careers and work to climb up ladders (to who knows where).

Golden Handcuffs

We opt-in to pensions plans and contribute to our retirement plans, all the while moving the goal line to whatever age our magic retirement calculator tells us is the financially best for us to shirk off the golden handcuffs of employment and embrace our retirement.  Early retirement if we’re really lucky!

We may marry and raise a family and fight to keep a work-life balance, spending quality family time together during vacations that are limited in number – due to finances and our vacation calendars at work.  17 days a year.  Maybe 22. Spent recovering and unwinding from the busyness of life.

Grace + Frank are trying to do things differently as they consider being stay-at-home children to their aging parentsAnd then the day finally comes that we have enough candles on our birthday cake and we are “free”.  We look forward to the life we have always dreamed of.  Time to travel.  Time to pursue our hobbies.  Time to spend with our families – who are now too busy themselves, or also caught with limited vacation time and a hamster-wheel hangover at the end of each work week.

And of course, with those golden retirement years come hip replacements, knee replacements, arthritis, heart attacks, strokes, high cholesterol and the ever-dreaded C word.  Some of get through easily enough.  Others not so much so.

And then one day, it’s all over.  The eulogy of your life is shared.  The boxes of memories are packed away. The knowledge and experiences you have stored up over the years, now exists only in what you’ve written down or passed along to others.  It is a sobering thought.

Trying it a Different Way

So, let’s propose trying it a different way!  What does that look like?  If only we knew! But seriously, there has to be a better way!

Grace + Frank are trying to do things differently as they consider being stay-at-home children to their aging parentsThere are lots of parents who are breaking away from the pack.  It is not uncommon for men to take paternity-leaves or put on the hat of stay-at-home-dad.  And there are so many business women who are switching up their careers so they can be a stay-at-home-mom to their children.  The questions that are often asked: why would we want someone else to raise our children? Why wouldn’t we want to spend these precious and short-lived years with them while we have the chance?

We see parents chosing to home school.  Some even take leaves from their careers and start businesses that they can manage from the comfort of their own homes and accommodating their own schedules and lives.  Think of the freedom that affords a family.  They can now take their classroom anywhere in the world!  How amazing is that?


We’ve been asking ourselves similar questions lately.  Why would we want someone else to care for our parents?  Why wouldn’t we want to spend these precious and numbered years with them while we have the chance?

Now, don’t ask us exactly what that looks like – because we have far from figured it out!  But it’s the question that we are asking these days.  What would that look like?

Can we make it happen?  Do we have the energy and skill and resources to be able to even consider it?  I’d say maybe to energy!  Barely to skill! And unlikely to resources!  At least if we want to consider pursuing our ideals of retirement when that day arrives.  But honestly – we’re not sure that matters.  We can’t take the green-backs with us when we go.Grace + Frank are trying to do things differently as they consider being stay-at-home children to their aging parents

Live Better

I’ve been reading from Ann Voskamp’s “The Broken Way” lately in my morning reflections time.  She poses an interesting question:

What if the abundant life isn’t about having better stories to share but about living a story that lets others live better? What if the goal isn’t to experience more of the world but for more of the world to experience more?

Again, it turns my mind to the question of  spending these golden years with our parents.  While I still write my Goal Lists and Travel Lists – and hope to one day have many more memories and stories to share with others, living a life and creating a story that lets our parents live better, now, might just be the call to abundant living that we are to heed!

Aging and More - New Year's Resolutions and trying a new 101 in 1001 Days Goal List

Advocating for the Best

Both Frank and I hold high personal standards when it comes to our work.  While I wouldn’t necessarily call it perfectionism, there is an element of extreme quality that we measure our work against.  Quality assurance and standardized processes and repeatable, predictable outcomes are things we both gravitate to!
Good, better, best. Never let it rest. ‘Til your good is better and your better is best. (St Jerome)
Translating that into the caregiving context has been interesting.  We have been most appreciative of the help and support that we have received to date, as we support Frank’s folks.  We have also been surprised at the room for improvement that exists.  The art of anticipation and risk management has fallen short on many occasions.
Which brings us back to the question of: Why would we want someone else to care for our parents?  No service agency or provider will ever care for them as much as we do.  How could we ever expect them to?  How could we ever expect them to go the extra mile for them, in the same ways that we would?
It is an unrealistic expectation and one that is sure to disappoint and send my blood pressure through the roof eventually.

Join us on our Journey

So, as we figure this out and start to pull together our own resources and support networks, we hope that you’ll join us.  If you’re on a similar journey, we’d love to connect with you and learn from you, too!  We don’t pretend to know where this road will take us, but we get up each new day and keep walking it out.

We invite you to read more about how A Blog about Aging and More came to be.  And of course, to stop by and meet us!


May 17, 2017 0 comment
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Exercising your right to vote - made easy with options for Advance, Mobile or Mail-in Voting

Exercising your Right to Vote

This coming Tuesday, May 9th is a Provincial Election Day in British Columbia.  And while I have considered the great gains that have been made over the years to allow women to vote, I have not personally given much thought to the measures that are in place for the disabled or elderly voters.  This year, I decided to look a little more into accommodations that would be available to my folks in their advanced years.

May 5, 2017 0 comment
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Relaxing Respite Retreat - Aromatherapy Essential Oil and Epsom Salt Bath Ideas

Relaxing Respite Retreat – Essential to our own Wellbeing

Frank and I are just back from our second Relaxing Respite Retreat!  And we have decided that they are absolutely essential to our own health and wellness as caregivers!  Respite is so important to help prevent caregiver burnout! We need time to relax, rest and retreat from our responsibilities.  Our little Relaxing Respite Retreats are “all about us” time – specifically designed as time to relax, rest, retreat, recharge, rejuvenate and reconnect!  Enough “R” words? 🙂

Epsom Salts

Epsom Salts are magnesium sulphate based and are touted as being amazing for the body.  There are some many reason to buy a bag and start adding them to your bath!  But during our Relaxing Respite Retreats, my number one reason is help us relax and sooth our weary, tired bodies!  And how can you go wrong with a hot bath in epsom salts!  When I was working as a Registered Nurse, I would come home after a long shift, run ragged off my feet.  I would draw a hot epsom salt bath and soak the stress of my shift away!

So when we go away, it is always a bonus to be able to book a hotel with a lovely soaker tub!  This trip was no different.  And over the course of just 3 days and 2 nights away, I enjoyed 4 relaxing soaks!  You can read more about our little Relaxing Respite Retreat here.  But I wanted to share some ideas for mixing aromatherapy into your respite time!  And even into your regular routines, as able.


I am a huge fan of essential oils and aromatherapy.  Some people claim that essential oils have lots of healing properties.  I am more of the mind that it’s the essential oils that you enjoy most that are the best for you!

So into a hot bath with 3 cups of epsom salts, I add 5-10 drops of my favourite essential oil of choice.

Below is a list of some of my favourites for bathing.  Together with each are a few of their aroma benefits.  Although the most important benefit in my opinion, is how they leave me feeling personally.  Given them a try and see how you like them!

Single Oils

Relaxing Respite Retreat - Aromatherapy Essential Oil and Epsom Salt Bath Ideas

Eucalyptus Oil helps to clear the mind, promote feelings of relaxation and clear breathing.

Lavender Oil can help reduce anxious feelings, promote peaceful sleep, and help ease feelings of tension.

Rosemary Oil helps reduce nervous tension and fatigue.

Wild Orange Oil is a powerful cleanser and purifying agent and is uplifting to the mind and body.

Oil Blends

Relaxing Respite Retreat - Aromatherapy Essential Oil and Epsom Salt Bath Ideas

Cheer® Uplifting Blend promotes feelings of optimism, cheerfulness, and happiness.  It can counteract negative emotions and provide a boost of happiness and positivity when you are feeling down.  It features Wild Orange Peel, Clove Bud, Star Anise Fruit/Seed, Lemon Myrtle Leaf, Nutmeg Kernel, Vanilla Bean Extract, Ginger Rhizome, Cinnamon Bark, Zdravetz Herb.

Console® Comforting Blend promotes feelings of comfort and hope and counteracts negative emotions of grief, sadness, and hopelessness.  It uses sweet floral and tree essential oils to promote feelings of comfort, putting you on a hopeful path of emotional healing. It features Frankincense Resin, Patchouli Leaf, Ylang Ylang Flower, Labdanum Leaf/Stalk, Amyris Bark, Sandalwood Wood, Rose Flower, Osmanthus Flower.

Balance® Grounding Blend promotes a whole body sense of relaxation and may help ease anxious feelings bringing balance to the emotions. The warm, woody aroma of Balance® is a perfect blend of Spruce, Ho Wood, Frankincense, Blue Tansy, and Blue Chamomile with Fractionated Coconut Oil to offer an enticing fragrance that promotes tranquility and relaxation.

Serenity® Restful Blend promotes relaxation and a restful sleeping environment while lessening feelings of tension and calming the emotions.  The addition of Cedarwood, Ho Wood, and Vetiver essential oils gives dōTERRA Serenity® a grounding aroma that calms the mind and soothes the senses.







May 3, 2017 0 comment
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Aging and More - Relaxing Respite Retreat - Taking the time to care for ourselves and avoid caregiver burnout

Relaxing Respite Retreat – Take 2 (2 nights that is)!

Our second Relaxing Respite Retreat was nearly a duplicate of our first one early this month! Only it was nights instead of 3.  How quickly we become creatures of habit!  There are so many amazing places to visit in beautiful British Columbia, but this trip was more about rest than about exploring new ground. And we were looking to just relax and do very little else.  We decided to return to the same hotel we stayed in earlier this month during our first Relaxing Respite Retreat!

I’ve decided that our respite times deserve a name!  Hence the Relaxing Respite Retreat moniker. I feel like it keeps the focus clearly before us!  It is not an adventure getaway or a camping expedition.  It is firmly rooted in relaxing, taking respite and retreating!

Aging and More - Relaxing Respite Retreat - Taking the time to care for ourselves and avoid caregiver burnout

Nita Lake Lodge – A Paradise for Respite

Nita Lake Lodge, in gorgeous Whistler, BC is one of our favourite places for total relaxation!  With a balcony view of Nita Lake, a gas fireplace, a comfy king-sized bed, a mini-kitchen and a spa-licious bathroom, complete with a huge soaker tub, frameless glass shower and heated floor, it is perfect for a mini getaway for caregiver respite!

Caregiver burnout is a very real thing and taking time to care for oneself and reconnect is most important!

Aging and More - Relaxing Respite Retreat - Taking the time to care for ourselves and avoid caregiver burnout

We packed some wonderful meats and cheeses and put together our own charcuterie board to enjoy with a bottle of Sandhill Barbera Wine. Some dark chocolate, fruit and coffee to enjoy in front of the fireplace.

And a epsom salts and essential oils soak in the huge tub!  So many aromas to choose from to help you relax, unwind, rejuvenate.  In the short course of a 2 night respite retreat, I managed to sneak 4 soaks!  Ahhhhh!  Soothing!

We kept our breakfasts super simple – coffee made in the room, yogurt and croissants from the hotel cafe – brought back to the room to enjoy in front of the fireplace with some cafe jazz album streaming from the tablet to our bluetooth speaker!  A quiet lazy, pajamas kind of morning!  Just the change I needed from the caregiving crunch that happens each morning as my in-laws require assistance with their morning routines, often followed by a doctor’s appointment or visit or other tasks around their place.

A couple of slow, quiet mornings to do nothing.  Ha! Well, it was almost that idyllic! Of course we still made a 9am phone call each morning to ensure that Frank’s dad had the correct dosing for his morning insulin injection, that he rolled his insulin pen to mix the insulin prior to injecting it and to just generally see how the morning was going.  So, while we were away, we didn’t completely leave our caregiving behind this time.  I do wonder though, if that is ever really possible?  Sort of like parenting I supposed.  Do parents go away and ever really leave the thoughts of home and concerns of schedules and health issues behind them at the door?  Hardly ever. Let’s be honest.  Caregiving for aging parents is much the same.

Aging and More - Relaxing Respite Retreat - Taking the time to care for ourselves and avoid caregiver burnout

Purebread – Mini Flourless Chocolate Cake

So during our first Relaxing Respite Retreat (which you can read about here), we were also celebrating Frank’s birthday, so I was on the hunt for a decadent chocolate cake!  When we arrived to Nita Lake Lodge, I asked the front desk staff for a recommendation on the best chocolate cake in town!  And they pointed me to Purebread.  As you’ll read in my other post, they were out of chocolate cake by the time we arrived that day, so we tried their chocolate raspberry loaf, which fit the “decadent” bill without any trouble at all!

This trip, we decided we should try for chocolate cake again!  And this time we were successful in picking up a mini flourless chocolate cake that was out of this world!  There were no less than a dozen other amazing looking treats that I am sure were equally as evil!

While we were there, I snapped this photo of a great “pour over” coffee set-up!  Would be super easy to install in a custom built-in coffee bar!  Frank is already busy designing one of his own!

Aging and More - Pour Over Coffee at Purebread in Whistler / Sproat

Mountain Views and a Cigar with God

We were blessed with a gorgeous clear day and a vantage point from which to enjoy the breath-taking mountain views to be had at Whistler.  Truly God’s country!  While I have never downhill skied, it is something that I would love to try one day.  Frank has skied Whistler before, so hopefully one day we’ll give it a try together!  I am sort of thinking that I need to find a smaller bunny hill to start out on though!

Aging and More - Relaxing Respite Retreat - Taking the time to care for ourselves and avoid caregiver burnout

However, we did enjoy the view, none-the-less!  Frank even sat on a rock, overlooking paradise and shared a cigar with God.  If you’ve never heard me use that phrase before, let me explain!  Frank is not particularly a smoker.  The only time he enjoys a cigar is when the view is spectacular and in conversation (read: prayer perhaps) with God.  People have all sorts of interpretations for what prayer is.  We like to think of it simply as a conversation with God.  And where better to have a conversation with God than when enjoying the majesty and wonder of his hand-work!  And snow-capped mountains on a sunny, blue sky day is certainly a display of his creative heart poured out for us… and most worthy of a praise-filled conversation!  A clear summer night with the Milky Way stretched out overhead is another!

Aging and More - Relaxing Respite Retreat - Taking the time to care for ourselves and avoid caregiver burnout










May 2, 2017 0 comment
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Starbucks Coffee Dates are a strategy that Grace + Frank use to help prevent caregiver burnout!

Starbucks Coffee Dates

A couple of mornings a week Grace and I have been trying to escape for a Starbucks Coffee Date!  For just an hour or so, a couple of mornings a week, we have a personal support worker (PSW) in to help out at my folks’ place.  While they are at the house, we go out for a little personal time and a cup of Starbucks!  There are a few near to their place.  But we have found one in particular that has become our little haunt.   Sumatra Decaf pour over has become our drink of choice.  It is Starbucks’ only Swiss-water Decaf option!

April 28, 2017 0 comment
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